The Power of Gratitude

About 6 years ago I found myself buckling under the weight of my past and present shortcomings, the trauma of my childhood, and lack of healthy coping skills that my parents never instilled in me because they themselves never learned. I blamed these things, the government, my job, people in my social circle, and even myself for the misery I found myself running from through the many avenues we often find ourselves escaping in today's society. After several confrontations with my higher self (and even a physical jolt in the form of a self imposed black eye) I began to have a realization: I was the cause of all of my problems. I took a long, hard look into the mirror through meditation and yoga and began to take stock of what I saw.

I went in circles for a little while longer, shifting my blame from outside influences to my own hand. I battled self deprecation and depression, but within all of this I began to study deeper into yogic philosophy and a particular practice stood out to me, santosha, or contentment/acceptance. The practice of this led me to the power of gratitude and, finally, after spinning endlessly within the loop of being my own and the worlds victim, I began to break the cycle. I started shifting my thinking from “this is happening to me”, to “ this is happening for me”.

There are certainly situations that occur to us by the hands of others, and in this sense we are powerless, but we are co-creators. We take away our own power when we view ourselves only as victims and when we allow ourselves to fall into negative habits because of this, we become the perpetrator. This is the work, it is not easy, but we are not alone and when we decide to put in the effort the world around responds. I like to think of it like this, picking someone up off of the floor is much easier if they are sitting up than if they are dead weight. This does not mean every day will be a forward motion, healing is not linear.

It is the practice of gratitude, the acknowledgment that everything we experience is meant to shape us in some way and, if we allow it, put us a little closer to where we are meant to be, that can lead us to transmute the things we experience into healing and wisdom. It is difficult to accept traumatic events and acceptance of our past experiences certainly does not mean allowance of future mistreatment. When we express gratitude for the hurtful events we experience, we are better able to look at them for the lessons they are teaching us and, through much practice, self compassion, and even physical release or ritual, we begin to lessen their grip on our thoughts and heal.

We will have many falls, make many mistakes, spend much time being hard on ourselves, and experience an array of negative feelings toward others, but we must be grateful for even these difficulties. Building strength requires practice and we are all, in fact, human beings. We continue to integrate each and every occurrence, within and without, as an opportunity to practice with the tools we picked up. Often times we fall more times than we get up before we gain the strength to move forward, but there is gratitude to be had with every moment we are alive and participating in this living experience.

With this, we begin to learn what we are and are not accepting of, we find our purpose in healing and connecting with others who have been through their own traumatic life events. We find our passion in creating awareness, stand taller in our truths, and work harder to prevent future trauma in the lives of others, all bringing a greater sense of peace to our lives and the world itself. Our relationships with others begin to transform as we recognize the give and take, the accept and release, the areas in which we can seek to grow and the ones better left in the past. We more easily recognize our own boundaries and develop greater compassion and respect for others as well. Gratitude is a day to day, moment to moment, practice and, like any skill, it must be put into action regularly in order to stay sharp. When we only practice through the good times we turn our backs to the moments in which we need it the most, the moments when slipping back into our old mindset seems like the only thing we are capable of.

I have discovered in my personal journey that difficult times are often the ones in which we stand to learn the most about ourselves and the world around us and running from them robs us of the opportunity to experience the fullness of this wild world. This practice, this shifting of perspective, has not prevented negative things from happening to me. Instead it has given me the courage and wisdom to face head on the challenges that confront me and take meaningful action to better myself and the world around me. I still find myself feeling besieged at times, but I know that with gratitude on my spiritual tool belt, I am able to assess and take the action (or non-action) necessary to move through it in the healthiest way possible.


With gratitude,
Emily Rose Williams

Guest article written by Emily Rose Williams, Personal Facebook Page